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Poems in the Wiltshire Dialect, by Edward Slow (pdf)
from Epistle to Mr. J. P., November, 1879.
"An ow'd the wordle use thee Jim,
I hope y'am zoun in wind an lim...
An wats tha news? Is't flat or stale?
Wat is ther brewin?
...I hear you've got a libery,
An a room wur peapers you can zee;
This is as things did ought ta be,
In every village...
A Jim, me vren, I hope thee hoot,
Spread bout thy intellectual vruit
In young chaps hearts let it teak root...
An now about tha comin vite
Tha Tories zeem's got in a plite;
If wat tha peapers zays is rite...
Then lok at Afferganistin,
Ther's another purty leetle din,
That's gwain ta cost Jan Bull sim tin,
An brave lives too;
Thease war I caals a downrite zin,
I do as true".
From Tha Moonraker and tha Laayer's Clerk:
"...Zo at a laayer's office slap,
Our Willsheer man began ta rap;
A voice then zoon baal'd out inzide,
Push ard tha dooer, an'll open wide.
Ower joskin dun as he wur tould,
An wawk'd in like a Lion bwold;
An tha vust thing there that took his eye,
Wur tow clerks zat up, at desk za high.
Well BUMPKIN! zays tha wouldest wun,
In a zart a grinnin sneerin tone,
Bist cum a laayer var ta zee,
If zo, wat can 'ess do var thee?
Why I'm cum zays he, ta know if ya will.
Tell a countryman wat you da zill?"
(Wiltshire Rhymes, London, 1881)
From The Wiltshire Moonrakers:
THE HARNET AND THE BITTLE.
By J. Y. Akerman.
[North Wilts.]
A Harnet zet in a hollow tree,—A proper spiteful twoad was he,—And a merrily zung while a did zetHis stinge as zharp as a baganet,'Oh, who's zo bowld and vierce as I?—I vears not bee, nor wapse, nor vly!'Chorus—Oh, who's zo bowld, etc.[209]
A Bittle up thuck tree did clim',And scarnvully did luk at him.Zays he, 'Zur Harnet, who giv' theeA right to zet in thuck there tree?Although you zengs so nation vine,I tell'e it's a house o' mine.'Chorus—Although you zengs, etc.
The Harnet's conscience velt a twinge,But growin' bould wi' his long stinge,Zays he, 'Possession's the best law,Zo here th' shasn't put a claw.Be off, and leave the tree to me:The Mixen's good enough vor thee!'Chorus—Be off, and leave, etc.
Just then a Yuccle passin' byWas axed by them their cause to try.'Ha! ha! it's very plain,' zays he,'They'll make a vamous nunch for me!'His bill was zharp, his stomack lear,Zo up a snapped the caddlin pair.Chorus—His bill was zharp, etc.
Moral.
All you as be to law inclined,This leetle story bear in mind;For if to law you ever gwo,You'll vind they'll allus zarve'e zo;You'll meet the vate o' these 'ere two:They'll take your cwoat and carcass too!Chorus—You'll meet the vate, etc.
Greene Ferne Farm, Richard Jefferies
From Agrikler at the Fine Arts Academy, 1872, Second Visit - by Agrikler (J. Edwards, on a painting of Stonehenge):
"A windy daay on Salsb'ry Plaain, ud tiake thic shepherd's hat,
And blaw down Stooanidge, if the stooans ded raaly leean like that".
KITCHIN' TH' INFLUENZY.
[North Wilts.]
Our Jess wur cwoortin' Polly:Her gwoed an' kitched th' plague.'Zo cwoortin's wusser'n volly,'Zes Jess, 'an' I'll renage!'
Zes Polly, 'Dang thee buttons!Thee gwo an' blaw thee's nause!Zo zhure as zhip be muttons,Th' dain be in thee's claus!'
Martal aveard wur Jesse,An' tuk an' hiked it whoam.'Bin in my claus 'tes,' zes 'e,'I'll make a bonvire aw'm!'
Zo off a zoon tuk aal claus,Vrom sankers up ta zmock,Vur weskit, cwoat an' smaal-claus,An' putt 'em in a cock.
Jess wur a vool, but Lawksies!Thur's zights aw'm wusser'n he!It minds I o' Guy Vawks's,Thuck vire o' he's to zee!
'Twur down in veyther's archet,A gashly smother 'twur,Vor when you comes to scarch it,Thur be a zim to vur!
But 'twern't no zart o' use on't,A zoon beginned to sneeze—An' when I hires moor news on't,I'll tell 'ee how a be's!
G. E. D.
Greene Ferne Farm, Richard Jefferies
From Agrikler at the Fine Arts Academy, 1872, Second Visit - by Agrikler (J. Edwards, on a painting of Stonehenge):
"A windy daay on Salsb'ry Plaain, ud tiake thic shepherd's hat,
And blaw down Stooanidge, if the stooans ded raaly leean like that".
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